Currently Listening So Much for Substitutes By Downhere Great Are You see related

Doubt and Deceptors (or the Begining of Idealism)

The beginning of idealism lies in the realization of doubt. In order to reach an ideal, we must first sort out those things which are not ideal--the concept of doubting. To doubt is to feel uncertain; it is the first blind gropings of discontent, a crack in the wall of apathy. To reach an ideal we must first realize that all is not quiet, that all is not as it seems, that someone has decieved us. 

A deceptor is the key player in the move from apathy idealism and we have them all around us. In fact, the deceptor could very well lie in our very hearts and minds. Deceptors can be people or ideas and they litter the sidewalks around us: buy this and women will love you, vote for me and things will be better, go on this diet, vacation here, believe me and not him. Our society is based on a series of deceptions. In order to not be decieved we must formulate a plan.

The plan is our roadmap out of status quo. You might say it is something like being wise as serpents and gentle as doves. Or you might just be called cynical. Basically, you doubt. You don't take another persons word; it is necessary to break from the meaningless socio-religious pitfall of handing down beliefs from generation to generation. We are responsible for what we say we believe so it is important to study, to learn and seek out the meaning behind our cute catch phrases and pop-culture crusades.

So don't fight the feeling of discontent. Instead, find out who is decieving you and search out what it is that you really believe. It is a purification process that lasts a lifetime and it is this process that makes a life truly meaningful.

Currently Listening Mockingbird By Derek Webb see related

Micah's Theory of Activism (Part One)

I watched an old movie a few nights ago; for those of you who do not know, the way to my heart (and undying love) lies in black and white movies. It was based on a Steinbeck novel and it all played out in the stifling confines of a small boat. Consequently, the movie was aptly entitled Lifeboat and it told the story of how the castaways struggled to overcome the elements and their own prejudices in order to survive. 

As I watched the movie I felt strangely like I was shipwrecked and floating in my own lifeboat, a man in a mass of people who were destroying each other in order to try and protect themselves. The people around me were equipped with individual specialties: carpentry, navigation, medical skills, etc. Together the men and women on the boat made up a micro-cosmic society which would allow them to survive. But they refused to work together, refused to compromise. Body after body flew overboard and the survivors were left to die in the open sea simply because the people they needed for survival were rotting around them, cast overboard in fits of mindless rage. Thankfully, just as they reached to throw me overboard I woke up in my own bed. Crazy stuff like that happens to me all the time.

It made me think, who is it that I am throwing overboard? Why do we result to violence when compromise would result in peace. Derek Webb wrote a song that said 'Peace by way of war/Is like purity by way of fornication.' This is a thought worth pondering. Is it not enough to simply love each other? But that is so utopian, so idealistic and hippie, you argue. It is, I agree. And it is time we swallowed our pride and admitted that what we are doing in this society, in this world is not working; it is time to return to idealism and unconditional love for each other as humans. That is the answer.

Currently Listening Give Up By The Postal Service see related

Faith and the Feel of the Road

The powder road stretches out behind me like a myth, shrouded in ghostly white and moon-glow; a road packed by my feet, watered by my tears, colored by my blood. A road is a cross; we are scourged by the wind and rain, crucified by the endless pounding of feet. Roads do not end, we simply die and cease to travel on them, but for now we travel, through blue and gold, until we slow our feet and find ourselves in that eternal resting place for weary travelers.

And if the road behind me is silent and ghostly, then what lies ahead is surely animate, filled with a certain sinking vitality that adds to the heavy, temporal feel of things. But nothing seems so alive, so completely on edge and urgent, as the crossroads that loom and lounge in the shadows up ahead.

There’s a part of me sleeping whenever you speak but I want to come alive and, like a lover, respond to the touch of your hand until I can hardly tell where you end and I begin. And I am oh so excited at the thought of a future but first you must deal with my past; and to forgive and forget is a wonderful thing but it really does little to destroy all the pain and the guilt. There must be something supernatural, a miracle drug or a leaf from your tree of life.

My life feels like retrospect, like I’m living life in reverse and the things that I am fighting now are the things I conquered first. I turned back to the end of the book so I know what to expect but I’m constantly forgetting that and making a mistake or two. Than I feel like a paradigm, that I am split between the two (holiness and reprobate) and I think I outdistanced grace but maybe I underestimated you. I feel I have a bedsore from lying in one place and maybe a gamble would stretch out this weight, shake out the sail or score a trip.

But overall I’m just too focused on this skin upon my feet until I can’t see this road I am walking at all. And movement is the goal, no matter how remote, no matter how defensive I may get. You must be big enough; you must be wise enough because even a fool knows when he is beat. I’ll trust you as I can. I’ll follow in the way. I’ll pretend I don’t even have a doubt, then maybe, after time, I’ll believe that you are real instead of a fairy tale I have become. And if you feel it is right, would you smile on me tonight because tonight my heart is a frown.

Currently Listening from a basement on the hill By Elliott Smith Last Hour see related

Broken Mind Opener

My mind opener is broken; this morning when I tried to open one I realized that I couldn't. My realization came with pain because, while I have very few things that frustrate me, closed-mindedness is one of them. Sadly, it is Christianity which has the lion-share of the bigotry, I think. We have misinterpreted the life of Christ into rule and regulations instead of a romance novel. Somehow love is found in law and not grace.

So open your minds to a new idea.

Open your homes to someone in need.

Open your hearts to love more fully.

Open your ears to hear someone cry out for dear life.

Open your eyes to see the world as it is, not as it was or as you wish it would be.

And I will try and do the same.